Thursday 26 July 2012

9. The Calm Before The Storm

Nicki sat and fidgeted as she waited for her name to be called out. The room was pretty full and almost everybody looked as though they fit the part of a doctor's receptionist. It wasn't, by any means, her dream job but she felt as though she at least had to try, she felt awful for not working since Jayson was born but she hated leaving him with other people. It was only a part-time job but at least she would be contributing and not just laying all of the responsibility on Safaree, and this way Jay and Alia got to spend time alone with their dad too. She trusted Safaree with her life and their kids lives but she couldn't help but think about them and worry like any normal mother, only she had other reasons to worry. Suddenly a small voice snapped her out of her thoughts as a young woman ushered her into the office.

"Jay, please. Cheerios are for eating. Not throwing." Safaree huffed as he picked up the many cereal bits off of the carpet whilst Jay stuffed another handful into his mouth and started crunching them up. He couldn't help but laugh at his son's cheeky face, it reminded him so much of Nicki when she had done something she shouldn't have like the time she accidentally broke his mother's best china mug when they were in their teens. As his thoughts progressed he got a text from her.

On my way home, don't ask about the interview! -__- xx


He sighed hoping that it wasn't as bad she was trying to make out but it didn't sound great. He texted her back as he took Jay's empty bowl back into the kitchen knowing that Nicki would freak if she saw food in the lounge room. "Come on little man! I saw your room boy, how does someone so tiny make such a big ass mess?!" He laughed as he threw Jay over his shoulder and started up the stairs. He quickly shushed his giggling son remembering that Alia was having her afternoon nap. He was slightly glad Nicki would be home when she woke up, he didn't exactly have the right tools to be feeding her. "Kay, go tidy up and then Mommy and Daddy are gon' take you out, yeah?" Safaree stood back up straight as Jay ran to his room and started packing away his toys. Hearing a car pull up he knew Nicki was home and slowly descended the stairs to greet her.

"Sooo?" He questioned as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. She didn't answer, she just shut the front door and placed her keys in the key bowl, letting her bag drop to the floor. "Nic? Come on, I'm sure it wasn't that bad?" He moved to the front of her so he could look at her face to face but he saw the tears in her eyes threatening to fall and pulled her over to the couch sitting her on his lap as he fell back on to it.

"They were brutal." She sniffled after she finally spoke, trying to wipe the make-up filled tears as they rolled down her face. "They started questioning me on my previous jobs and achievements and shit and then they got on to family and all that. And..." She let her head fall on to his chest as more tears started to fall.

"And what babe?" He kept tight hold of her, he hated seeing her like this and honestly he felt like he only ever saw her like this, making him more determined to give her, Jay and Alia a day to remember.

"I don't know, I just...started crying and then, I couldn't stop and they said I didn't seem likely to cope and that I wasn't what they had in mind." Truthfully she knew she had given them a bad impression but they were so cold towards her and showed her no empathy whatsoever when she broke down in tears, clearly inconsolable. "Anyway, I'm done crying 'bout them. I want my quality time with you and our babies." She wiped away the last of her tears, her nose sounded stuffy from crying and she looked really pale and tired. He kissed he gently before responding.

"Why don't you go have a sleep while Alia is still napping and I'll sort out the security camera installation stuff? Then when y'all are wake we can go?" He jolted his legs purposely, making her bounce and start to laugh.

"Yeah, I think I will actually I don't feel too good. Thanks babe." She kissed him again before trudging up the stairs and into their room. She thought Jay must have been asleep too so decided to change into more comfy clothes and then go check on the kids but before she could even take her jacket off Jay came bolting into her room.

"Mommy!!" He took a flying leap of faith as he ran towards her, luckily Nicki managed to catch him mid flight before moving over to her bed and collapsing on to it, being careful not to land on him.

"Hey JayMan!! You had a good day with daddy?" She asked as she wiped crumbs from around his mouth. He laughed and nodded snuggling up closer to her. She really wanted to get out of her jeans but she loved moments like these with Jay and so decided to just stay where she was. To no surprise they both fell asleep curled up in the middle of the king-sized bed. Walking past the bedroom Safaree couldn't help but smile at how small they both looked in the centre of the bed. He looked at his watch which read 2:30pm, he had managed to get some guys over to set up the cameras at 3:00pm so he decided to let them all sleep. They wouldn't have much time out now, so he figured it would do no harm to put off their family day until tomorrow. He had a weird feeling anyway and Nicki did look really ill to him. He made his way back into their room quietly after checking on Alia, who was also still asleep. Placing a hand on Nicki's forehead he frowned feeling how hot she was.

"Imma turn the heat down and just have to face her wrath later." He mumbled as he pulled her shoes off carefully trying not to wake either her or Jay.

***

A good three hours later Safaree was just seeing the camera installation guys out of the house and was busy preparing dinner. He was making something light to eat and then after the kids were in bed he had a special meal planned for himself and Nicki. Alia had woken up a while ago so he had sat her in her baby chair so he could keep an eye on her while he cooked. He was relieved that she was in a relatively chirpy mood and wasn't yet hungry. Before long he heard Nicki and Jay making their way downstairs and he couldn't help but laugh at them both looking like zombies not to mention the fact that she had wrapped her big pink blanket around them both.

"Why is it so damn cold in here? You turn the heat off?" She squinted at him as he dished three small plates of food up and put them on the place mats.

"Nic your forehead was like, on fire. No joke, so yes I maybe turned the heat down a little." He showed her how much using his fingers and emphasised 'a little'. She just looked at him with her brow raised and sat Jay down before turning the heat back up to full whack. "Anyway, how are you feelin'?" he asked after shaking his head at her fixing the heat.

"Mmm, a little better...I guess." She wrapped the blanket around herself even more as she sat down next to Jay. They continued to exchange small talk as they ate before Nicki fed Alia and then both got the kids ready for bed, even though Jay had just woken up he did get up earlier that morning because Nicki stirred him when she was getting ready for her interview so he was super tired after his fun day with his dad. Safaree turned their lights off as he headed back down to the kitchen where Nicki was filling the dish washer. Her robe was still open at the front from when she fed Alia, she was clad in a pink thong and nothing else but her robe. As she went to tie it up around her front Safaree intercepted from behind and pulled her hands away turning her to face him. He pushed her gently against the kitchen countertop and lifted her to sit on it as he smoothed his hands up her thighs, her hands came down to stop him but he pushed them away. It seemed forceful but he could always tell if she didn't want to go any further. She definitely wasn't giving him that feeling so he moved his hands even further up until he reached the hem of her thong and carefully pulled it off as he spread her legs apart and stood in between them. Neither had spoken a word but it was like they were communicating through their actions. Small moans escaped her mouth as he started sucking on her neck, getting lower and lower leaving small passion marks wherever he lingered. Placing her hands on the top of his head she lifted her right leg up to rest on the counter, giving him more access as he worked his tongue on her centre. She had to let go of his head and grip on to the countertop as he speeded up the movement, making her moan louder. She came minutes later, but before she had time to recover he picked her up with her automatically wrapping her legs around his waist as he sat her on the edge kitchen table letting her lay back whilst he stood himself in between her parted legs again, this time ready to penetrate. She always thought it was sweet how he would silently ask permission before actually inserting himself into her. She gave him a look that let him know she wanted it just as much as him, feeling his erection pressed against her was driving her mad. She hadn't even noticed his clothes come off as she tried to shimmy her arms out of her robe. It was safe to say that she was no longer feeling the cold. He intertwined his fingers with hers as he pulled her to sit upright again before he slowly pushed himself inside of her.

"Mmm...keep going." He did as she asked making her hips buck to meet his thrusts as they became more intense. "Ahh Faree..!" Her head was now resting on his shoulder so every noise she made was directly next to his ear, turning him on even more. He started sucking, biting and nipping on her neck causing her to break out into a pattern of goose bumps all over her body.

"Mm, stop...get down and turn around." He whispered and gently pulled out letting her do what he asked, she leaned over the edge of the table and lay with her chest pressed against the surface of it ready for him to enter her from behind. They both let out harmonised moans and grunts as he re-entered and increased the speed of his thrusts, pulling her arms up above her head to lie flat on the table with his resting on top. They were being exceptionally loud, but obviously not loud enough to wake the kids as they hadn't even stirred.

Standing awkwardly he wasn't sure if he should knock again but decided against it. He didn't want to seem rude or interfering especially after the way Safaree was the other morning. Turning to walk away he heard her calling for him to 'come in'. Hesitantly entering he walked towards the kitchen, he could hear voices and figured Safaree must be home.

"Yes! Uhh Faree I'm coming!" She screamed as she raked her nails roughly up his back, they were now facing one another again with her back pressed up against the fridge door and her legs wrapped securely around his waist pulling him deeper into her. He was hitting her spot repeatedly and was about to bust as well, stroking long and deep he let out a low groan feeling her walls tighten around him. Nicki opened her eyes only to see Drake walking towards the doorway and stop suddenly as he saw them. "Shit, Faree!" She frantically started pushing at Safaree's chest making him back away looking confused as Nicki scrambled to try and cover herself. "Drake! What the fuck!? You just walk into our fuckin' house without knocking now?!" Safaree turned quickly at the same time as using his body to cover Nicki and grabbing his shirt from the floor to cover himself.

"You heard her! The fuck you doin' here nigga?!" He yelled, moving closer to Drake whilst Nicki snatched her robe off of the kitchen table and fastened it tightly around her waist.

"Look, I swear it was an honest mistake! I thought you yelled 'come in' but obviously you were...screaming.....something else." He looked down feeling the awkwardness fill the room as he rubbed his hand up the back of his head. Safaree was beyond pissed and was getting in Drake's face as he tried explain why he was there....

*Super sorry it's been a while and I REEAALLLY hate this chapter :'''( but I had to post something! I'm back at uni now -__- but mum and I smartly arranged my timetable so that ALL off my topics are crammed into two days, two very longs days but that means I get 2-3 days a week to study at home. So I might be able to post more regularly than I had hoped. Also I almost passed out when Nicki tweeted that she would be coming to my city in October!!! ^___^ Can't wait! And before I start I would like to thank all the people who sent me wishes about my stupid legs -__- I might need surgery the way things are looking right now BUT that would mean I will be unable to walk so definitely more time to type XD Well hope this chapter is ok for you all :/ *


Monday 16 July 2012

8. While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Play...(Part Two)

Nicki woke up super early again the next morning to see Jay still soundly sleeping next to her, she watched him for a while thinking about how scared he looked last night. "Poor baby." She said quietly as pulled the covers over him some more. Before she could climb out of bed she heard voices from downstairs, not the regular conversation murmurs but it sounded like a heated argument. Quickly throwing on her robe she ran down the stairs swiftly only to find Safaree stood interrogating Drake in the kitchen. He was home early, he had called her before he went to sleep last night to let her know how the therapy session went and to say that he would be home at around lunch time.

"Now, I'll ask you again. What the fuck are you doing in MY house, holding MY daughter?" Nicki hadn't seen Alia, she was now in Safaree's arms so she guessed Drake must have had her for some reason. She didn't like where this was going and moved into the kitchen.

"What the hell is going on?!" She spat as she snatched Alia out of Safaree's grasp, but gently of course.
The two men just looked at her trying to calm Alia down who had started crying, possibly due to the atmosphere.

"Why is it that I come home to find another nigga in my house Onika?" He looked beyond pissed, in fact Nicki couldn't remember one time when she had ever seen him this angry. Drake was still silent in the corner, she felt so bad that he was being dragged into all of this.

"Look, some weird things happened yesterday and I was home alone so-" She was cut off by Safaree's yells.

"So you what? You fucking called up some nigga ya hardly know to come take care of you?" His face relaxed and turned worried when he saw how scared she looked, he hadn't realised how much he was getting in her face. Drake was stood ready in the corner, he really thought he was going to hit her. "Nic...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell like that..." He shook his head and went to turn away like he always did but she grabbed his arm with her free hand.

"No. it's not your fault." She smoothed her hand over his cheek and looked at him tearfully. He placed his hand over hers on his face before turning back to Drake and gave him an apologetic look and made his way up the stairs. Letting out a huge sigh of relief Nicki sat herself down at the table proceeding to feed Alia, luckily her pink blanket was still on the chair so she could cover herself with something.

"What the hell was that about?" Drake asked warily but Nicki didn't respond. "Like, forreal I thought he was 'bout to lay a hand on you." This caught Nicki's attention.

"Excuse me? How dare you! He would never even think about hurting me, or our children!" She was sure about the kids but the way he was with her before, she honestly thought he was going to hit her. He had strange outbursts like that, she could always tell it wasn't really him though. That was one of those outbursts, just like with the Portmans that time. "Look, thank you for doing that last night and thanks for stayin' over but..I think you should leave now." She stood up, still holding Alia to her breast and showed him to the door.

"It was no trouble, see you around." He didn't look at her and shook his head as he made his way over to his car. But before he could open it he heard her shouting him so he looked up.

"You forgot your wallet." She said as she stood out on the porch picking the small black thing off of the step, Drake huffed and started walking back over to her feeling his pockets.

"No, my wallet's right here he said waving it in the air. But thanks anyway." He said as he turned to walk back to his car once again. He gave her one last wave and headed off. Nicki just looked blankly at the black wallet, she knew it wasn't Safaree's because he always had a picture of her, Jay and Alia inside. She had opened it up only to find a bit of cash and nothing else. Suddenly feeling the cold air she decided to go back inside, setting the wallet on the hallway table. Once Alia was fed she bathed her and dressed her before going to wake Jay up. She didn't want him getting into the habit of sleeping late, it messed up his routine and then he would get cranky.

"Jay, come on baby. S'time to get up." She sang as she re-entered her room, only to see Safaree snoring on his side of the bed with Jay smiling next to him. He could be such a Daddy's boy sometimes. She just smiled at him and started to whisper. Meanwhile Alia had grown interested in the chain necklace hanging around her Mom's neck.

"Come on boy, you gotta go eat." He jumped off the bed, quite clumsily, and skipped ahead in front of her before turning and going down the stairs on his butt. Once they made it down to the kitchen Nicki one handedly picked Jay up and sat him at the table in front of a bowl of his favourite cereal, it had to be the same cereal, same bowl, same place everyday. After he had started chowing down his food she headed through to the lounge room and sat Alia in the small baby chair on the floor, strapping her in before going back to the kitchen. "Oh, you done already?" She put her hand on her hip looking at Jay with milk all over his face and the table too. He just replied with a giggle, a guilty one at that.

Later on that day, Nicki had just put Alia down for her nap and sat Jay in the lounge room watching Cars with his blanket and was now headed upstairs to talk to Safaree.

"Babe, you still sleeping?" She whispered as she pushed the door open gently. He was sat upright with his head resting in his hands. "Faree?" There was silence for a few minutes a she went and sat next to him.

"You thought I was gon' hit you." It was more of a statement than a question, she didn't know what to say so she just looked down. "I would never hurt you. Or the kids, you know that right?" She was shocked when he turned to look at her with tears in his eyes, he rarely cried.

"Faree, you have been through hell these last few weeks! I don't know what exactly is going through your mind but I do know that you love us." She turned to look at him as well. "I just....I want everything back how it was." He pulled her into a hug which made her feel safer than she had for ages. He kissed the top of her head before moving down to her cheek, then her neck. He lingered for a while causing her to moan unconsciously. "Mmm Faree, the kids..." He didn't let up, instead he moved further down slowly unbuttoning her top as he continued to suck on her neck, leaving a mark before moving to a new spot and doing the same thing. "Don't...leave a mark, I have a job interview tomorrow." She said breathlessly as he pushed her back on to the bed, climbing on top of her.

"It'll be fine, just wear your hair down." He smiled, for the first time in a long time as he pulled her top off leaving her in a pink bra and then removed her jeans. She let her hands trail down the sides of his face and neck and let them roam over his muscular torso as she arrived at his belt buckle. Whipping his pants off quickly and doing the same to his shirt. They were now just in their underwear, which didn't last long as he worked his way to the back of her bra unclasping it and throwing it on to the pile of clothes now littering their bedroom floor. She impatiently tugged at his boxers but he pulled her hand away.

"Hey, I'm getting there. It's been a while...I'm taking...my time." He managed to say in between kisses around her right breast, he took it into his mouth as she teased the other with her own hand. He continued to do this while he manoeuvred his hand to her panties, moving them to the side slightly he pressed his fingers against her clit and started massaging slowly, making her let out a moan. He stopped suddenly before quickly inserting two fingers inside of her, this time he got more than a moan as she called out his name.

"Ohh, Faree. Faster...please!" She was begging him. He acknowledged her pleas and speeded up the movement of his hand making her grind against him, not long after, she came on his fingers. He removed his hand and pulled off her panties and decided to tease her some more, laying on top of her as though he was about to enter, only he still had his boxers on. She could feel his erection pressed against  her and he started to grind on her. "Uhh, stop....fucking...teasing me." She panted as she squeezed her eyes shut. He took this as his cue, removing his underwear quickly and slowly pushing into her, letting her adjust before he started to thrust.

"You ready babe?" She looked at him sweetly.

"Are you ready? He just stared down at her. She didn't want to pressure him. But him thrusting in to her forcefully was enough to tell her that he was ready. He let out a few groans, mixing them in with hers as the both met one another. He kept pounding into her, both trying to stay quiet remembering that Alia was sleeping and Jay was downstairs. They both came minutes later, Safaree after Nicki. Laying exhausted in the middle of the bed, Nicki kissed him sweetly.

"I love you." She smiled after her returned the kiss.

"I love you too." They both looked at the time and decided to quickly shower and get dressed before Safaree headed back downstairs, Nicki went to get Alia as she heard her whining from her room. When they got to the lounge room Cars was just finishing as they walked in.

"Your movie good champ?" Safaree asked as he plopped on to the couch next to a sleepy Jay. He just nodded and climbed on to Safaree's lap and made himself comfy. "Hey don't be fallin' sleep now!" He started tickling Jay and just like Nicki, he let out a series of high pitched giggles that all formed into one. Nick was stood cradling Alia at the bottom of the stairs watching. Finally everything was falling back into place, they were a family again.

"So, what do we all wanna eat?" She asked over the top of Jay's giggles, Safaree stopped to let him answer his Mom. It was now almost 6:00pm and getting dark out.

"Can we have Smarties?" Jay chirped with a grin. They both laughed at how serious he was.

"No, baby we have to eat something good! Smarties are for after dinner kay?" She started rocking Alia as she started to become impatient "Okay, Okay pipe down you." Safaree smiled at his little family as he scooped Jay up and carried him to the kitchen but he suddenly started screaming out and kicking his legs causing both Nicki and Safaree to turn around.

"Hey liddle man, what's up?" He let Jay down and he immediately ran to the fridge and slapped his hand on the empty space where a picture, of him sat with a newborn Alia on his lap, used to be. "Hey Nic where's his picture gone?" Safaree asked as he picked up Jay and put him on his chair.

"Oh? That's weird, I think it was there last night, in fact I know it was there last night 'cause it was falling off so I fixed it. Maybe it fell again." She was trying to get her blouse open again to feed Alia and raid the cupboards at the same time.

"Here babe, let me do that. You just sit down and feed the chubby one." He kissed Alia's forehead before moving up to Nicki's mouth after she gasped.

"My liddle ladybug, is not chubby!" Safaree laughed at his pouting wife and resumed the position of rummaging through the cupboards. He found some sauces and pasta and just decided on spaghetti knowing that they all liked it.

***After dinner***

For the first time in weeks Nicki had some help with the bedtime routine, with Safaree bathing Jay and putting his pyjamas on Nicki just had to concentrate on Alia who was screaming. She tried to rock her but she just continued to scream. She took her in to their room and shut the door so as not to disturb Jay's bedtime story, sitting down on the bed she held her even closer and just rocked soothingly, finally she stopped. Looking at her Mom her eyes were getting heavier as Nicki kept on rocking. She could put her in her crib at last. Safaree and Nicki bumped into one another on their way out of each child's room, when she suddenly remembered.

"Oh, Faree? Is your wallet missing?" She tilted her head as she asked watching him pat all of his pockets and pull out his wallet.

"Nope, right here. Why?" He furrowed his brow.

"Well, when Drake was leaving today I was stood on the porch and found a black leather wallet....just laying there. You didn't see it on your way in?" He shook his head no.

"Sorry babe, can't help you there. That's odd though." He moved closer to her.

"Yeaah." She really didn't want to set him off but she thought she should tell him about the noises and the person watching her and Drake the night before.

"Babe, do you ever have that weird feeling that someone is, yknow? Watching you?" He looked concerned.

"How'd you mean?" He grabbed her hand and pulled her back downstairs, both flopping on to the couch.

"Like, last night, before I..." She trailed off nervously.

"Before you called Drake?" He finished for her, letting her know that he wasn't angry about the Drake issue anymore.

"Yeah, well I heard noises in the kitchen and then when I answered the door to Drake I looked past him and I could have sworn I saw somebody watching us. And the whole time before that I just felt like somebody's eyes were on me, y'know what I'm sayin'?" She looked at the side of his face waiting for him to answer but he was looking out of the window blankly. "Faree? Babe?" She ran her hand over his arm. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh...nothing. I was just thinking. How about we get some security cameras set up?" He turned back to her frightened face as she nodded.

"Mmm. Let's do that. And let's never spend a night apart again?" He leaned in and kissed her, answering her question with an action instead of words. "We have to get Jayson a new photo tomorrow too." She said as she wiped her thumb over his bottom lip.

"How about we take 'em out tomorrow? After you interview of course." She smiled at his suggestion. She wanted to do nothing else but spend time with him and her babies.

"You sure you're ready for that?" She wanted to make sure he wouldn't flip out on her in the middle of a public place.

"I need to get back to the way things were, Kellie even said that." He stood up and pulled her with him and tapped her on the butt. "Got to bed, I'll see you up there. Imma check the doors and turn everything off."

"Mmkay." She kissed him again before walking up the stairs as Safaree went and checked all of the doors.

Watching them both act like nothing had happened was sickening. Seeing each window on the lower floor of house go dark it was clear that they were heading upstairs for the night. Looking down at the photo in his hand he smiled and moved out of his hiding place, heading towards the house...


*Dun dun duuuuuuuun! I feel like I have been writing forever! I devoured a whole stack of chocolate during this and prolly gained a few extra kilos -__- Hopefully it goes to the butt...or chest, I wouldn't moan either way XD Welll hope you liiked :)) I should be posting on FY very soon so, yeah! Hope this was ok :)) Muuah*

Sunday 15 July 2012

7. While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Play... (Part One)

*Mkaaay, thanks to Jazzi I may have realised that YES she should have called the police XD My baad BUT Nicki wasn't sure if it was actually in the house, so not wanting to cause a fuss she thought of calling Drake :) hahaa hope you enjoy! *

Nicki cautiously and quietly edged around the corner into the kitchen to have a better look, she didn't realise she was shaking until she heard her bangles clattering. Swiftly moving around to see there was nothing there. But something didn't feel quite right, it was almost like somebody was watching her and she couldn't exactly ignore what she had just heard or did she really hear it? What if it was all in her head? She sighed and pulled the scrap of paper off of the fridge and thought, surely it would do no harm just to call someone to check the house out, she couldn't really call the police out as there was no official intruder or anything and she definitely didn't want to waste their time for a jumpy, overprotective mother. Picking up the phone she dialled the number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" He answered sleepily.

"Hey, Drake, it's Nicki? Nicki Samuels?"

"I know who you are silly, I only saw you yesterday! So you found the number I left you then?" He sounded quite smug which Nicki wasn't really taking to.

"Yes I did, thank you...but next time don't leave anything on the fridge. Jay hates that. Lucky for both you and I he didn't see it." She sounded quite abrupt but tried to keep it kind seeing as she need him to come investigate her house.

"Oh, my bad I'm sorry. So, uhh, what did you call for?" He remained sweet which again made her feel bad for being short with him, she sighed before answering.

"Well, it sounds ridiculous and I'm not crazy or anything but I definitely heard a noise in my house and..." she trailed off.

"...and?" He urged her to continue.

"I dunno, I just feel like somebody is watching me." Drake noticed her voice go lower and she was harder to hear.

"You want me to come over? I mean it's no trouble. I live, like, ten minutes away."

"Are you sure, I don't wanna disturb your evening or plans or whatever?" She didn't want to say that but she felt rude otherwise.

"No problem I'll be over there soon, make sure your doors are locked and only answer if you know it's me." She heard him shuffling around. "I'm heading out now, see you soon."

Nicki put the phone down as she went and checked the doors, closing all of the curtains and blinds as she did so. She went to check on Jay and Alia too before Drake arrived, they were still sound asleep. She was pleasantly surprised by this, usually Jay was a terrible sleeper and only seemed to settle if he was asleep with Nicki and Safaree in their bed. Suddenly remembering Safaree wouldn't be home all night made her feel sad but before she could delve further into that feeling their was a light knock on the door. Jogging down the stairs she ran over to the peephole only to see Drake stood rubbing his hands together in a feeble attempt to keep warm. She opened the door to let him in.

"Hey, thanks for coming." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before something caught her eye, there was somebody stood in front of her neighbours house and it looked as though they were watching them.

"Nicki? Hello?" He waved his hand in her face.

"What? Oh right sorry, come in." She moved aside to let him in and looked back over to where she saw the figure, whoever it was had gone. Drake had noticed her still stood in the doorway and walked over to her.

"What are you lookin' at?" He made her jump but she managed to suppress her scream with her hand.

"What the hell?! Don"t do that!" She whispered as she shut the door.

"Sorry...so where was this noise coming from?" Nicki walked back in front of him and led him to the kitchen.

"I don't know where it came from, I just assumed it was in here. That's where it sounded like it was coming from anyway." She went over to the fridge. "You want something to drink?" She was bent right into the fridge with her ass stuck out, Drake couldn't help but stare. "Drake? Do you want a drink?"

"Nah, I'm good, but thanks anyway." He managed to tear his eyes away from her butt. "So where's your husband?" He asked as he headed towards the stairs.

"He, um, well he's gone to visit his mom for little bit...he'll be back tomorrow though, hopefully the morning." She followed behind him as he checked each room. Nicki was hesitant to let him check Jay and Alia's rooms but stood back warning him to be quiet. As they both made their way back downstairs Drake made his way back towards the front door.

"Well, looks like everything here is good. I best be going." He saw Nicki's face drop a little bit. She didn't know why but she knew she would feel safer with someone else with her, but she knew there would be a reaction if Safaree returned home to find another man in his house with his family.

"You kay Nic?" He looked at her with his face full of concern.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine and...thanks, y'know for coming over and checking things out." She exhaled heavily after she finished talking.

"Y'know I'll sleep on the couch if you don't wanna be alone tonight? I understand it's pretty daunting moving to a new area. Especially with two young kids." He folded his lips whilst waiting for her to reply. She was kicking herself for wanting to say yes, but she really didn't want to be alone. Drake took her silence and worried expression as a 'yes'.

"You got a blanket or something I could have? I mean it ain't that hot?" Nicki snapped out of her thoughts.

"Oh, no don't be silly! You can have the guest bedroom, it's up the stairs to the left." She gave him the directions before stopping him as he made his way to the stairs.

"Thank you." She looked at him sincerely before adding. "Oh and don-" He cut her off.

"Don't wake the kids. I know." He laughed and shook his head as he went up the stairs.

After cleaning up the night's mess and double checking the doors, she too headed to bed. She was already make-up free so she just showered quickly before brushing her teeth and jumping into bed. Sleep wasn't finding her easy tonight and she was still awake two hours later thinking about the creepy things that had happened. She shot up suddenly hearing a noise and realised it was Jay crying so she grabbed her robe and headed to his room, only he wasn't there and she quickly started to panic until she  recognised where his cries where coming from. Nicki had forgotten that with them being in a new house Jay would disoriented if he woke up and he had stumbled into the wrong room looking for her. Barging through the guest room door she saw a tired looking Drake sat up with a confused face as Jay stood by the drawers, he was bawling at this point and as soon as he saw Nicki he darted to her and wrapped all four limbs around her tiny body as she picked him up hugging him to her. She could feel his little body shaking as he continued to cry into her neck.

"What happened?" Drake asked as he rubbed the back of his head and threw the covers off of himself.

"Oh, it's nothing. He'll soon calm down. Sorry he woke you." She turned to walk back to her own room quickly, praying that Alia hadn't been woken, luckily she hadn't. Gently climbing back into her bed, with Jay still tightly holding on, she rested her back on the headboard as she rubbed his back soothingly. Back in the guest room Drake heard the crying subside and relaxed back into his bed, sleeping peacefully until the morning....

*Ohh I'm so tired but I felt like I should post something on here seeing as it has been kind of while :/ It's not too drama filled but it is only part one soooo part two should be more event filled :)) ahaa enjoy! And thanks so much for all of the comments on the last chapter!! Muuah*

Wednesday 11 July 2012

6. Things Will Get Better (Full Chapter)

*Sorry for the delay, I know I said I would post yesterday but I got home late :// anywaaays, hope you enjoy...there will be more drama, sooon! ^_^ Ohh and if none of y'all can remember, Kellie is Safaree's therapist. The only one Nicki trusts :P*

Safaree was now stood outside of the bathroom door, hearing her sob her heart out like that was breaking him on the inside. He couldn't believe he'd made her feel that way, and hearing her small conversation with Jayson minutes ago had somehow kicked him back into the real world. He was having an internal argument about whether or not he should go in or not but before he could do anything he heard the shower die down. He guessed she wasn't washing her hair, so he quietly entered the bathroom with a million thoughts running through his head. What if he couldn't fix this? He could only try though. When he went in she still hadn't heard him and was wrapping herself in a pink towel, as she turned to face the sink he made her jump and she spun around quickly trying to hide her tears and puffy eyes. She carried on drying herself as she thought Safaree just wanted the bathroom.

"C-can't you just use the d-downstairs bathroom?" She stuttered and rolled her watery eyes when he didn't answer but instead she flinched feeling him wrap his arms tightly around her pulling her so close to him she felt like she couldn't breathe. She stayed rigid in his arms for a couple of seconds before completely collapsing into him and crying even harder. How could he have not noticed what he was doing to her? He never wanted to let go of her at this point but he had to loosen up for fear of suffocating her. He felt her shuddering as she cried, they never spoke apart from his reassuring, soothing words here and there. They stayed like that for a good five minutes before he noticed the goosebumps patterned across her arms, remembering she was still only in her towel. He gently pulled away from her and grabbed her hand leading her though to their room, carful not to wake Jay up. As Nicki trailed behind him she looked even smaller than usual just shuffling as close as she could behind him trying to hold her towel around her. She couldn't stop crying and kept sniffling as he pulled out some pyjamas for her and lay them on the bed.

"Here, put those on you're freezing." He whispered softly as she dropped her towel and quickly threw on the pyjamas. He grabbed one of his sweatshirts too and put it on her while she just stood crying, still struggling to stop. He hated seeing her like this. He moved around to his side of the bed and packed cushions and pillows there to act like a barrier so that Jay couldn't roll out of the bed, he then went back round to her side pulling her with him as he wrapped them under the covers. He couldn't believe how long she cried for, she cried so much she threw up luckily the trash can was near the bed. He just continued to hold her until her cries subdued into faint breathing, he looked down at her asleep, enveloped in his arms and vowed to himself that he would never again do anything to make her feel like he didn't love her, because she was his life.


It was 6:30am when Nicki awoke. She was still snug in Safaree's arms, which confirmed that last night's events did happen and they weren't just part of a dream. Moving ever so slightly to try and get comfortable she caught a glimpse of his face, to her surprise he was awake too. He looked as though he hadn't even slept actually. They just lay on their sides and stared at one another for a while until Nicki  broke the silence.


"I've missed this. Missed us, and I've been so alone without you." She was on the verge of tears again but Safaree wasn't having it and started stroking the side of her face.


"I'm sorry, I don't know what even happened. Like, that whole time has just felt like a massive blur. I can't even explain it. Then last night I heard you and Jay talkin' and I just realised what the hell I'd been doing to you, to us. To our family." He gave her a comforting smile. "It'll be small steps babe. I can't promise you I'm gon' be back to the old me in no time..." He trailed off and looked down but Nicki pulled his face back up to look at her again.


"Hey, stop worrying....I just needed to know that you were still in there." She said as she put her free hand on his chest. "I needed to know that you did still love me underneath all that, blankness." He moved in and kissed her softly before pulling back to continue admiring her face.


"I will always love you. No matter what." He echoed the words Nicki had used with Jay last night. Reminding her that his little body would usually be between them.


"Where is Jay at?" She asked scanning around the bed, Safaree moved on to his back giving Nicki a view of Jay behind him, sound alseep cushioned between all of the pillows his Dad had set out to stop him falling. "Aww, sleeping wild just like his daddy." She carried on looking at him as Safaree mad a move to get out of bed. "Babe, where are you going?" she sounded concerned.


"I need to do something for you. I'll be back." He was stopped when Nicki grabbed hold of his arm.


"Please? Don't...overdo it, kay? She was petrified he was going to slide back into the way he was before. He had made a breakthrough, no doubt about it but that was just with her. Who knows what he would be like with strangers and the outside environment. So she made a mental note to call Kellie later and see what she thought. As he made his way out of the room she looked back over at a sleeping Jay and inched closer to him until she had her arms wrapped gently around his tiny body and he still didn't wake, mind you it was about 6:45am and he wasn't usually up until around 8:00am. She stayed in the same place just stroking her hand through what little hair he did have as she listened to his soft breathing. Before she knew it she was asleep again.


Safaree made his way back into their room, noticing it was almost 8:00am he knew Alia would be squawking soon and Jay would be up and ready to demolish a plate full of food. Luckily he had made enough breakfast for the three of them. Gently nudging Nicki out of her sleep he handed her a plate of cooked breakfast which she wolfed down immediately, probably because she emptied her stomach last night when she threw up. He then when to get Alia, who was now screeching from her room, as Nicki sat Jay up and handed him his little Monsters Inc. plate.


"Here you go baby." She re-adjusted his twisted pyjamas as he rubbed his eyes sleepily and took the plate from her without hesitating to start cutting in to the food. Nicki just laughed and sat herself upright. Before long Safaree re-appeared cradling a whinging Alia as she kicked her legs and arms out. He handed her to Nicki carefully before going around to the other side of the bed and sitting himself between her and Jay. Alia's grunts soon stopped as Nicki started feeding her and then all that could be heard was her sucking on Nicki greedily as if she had never been fed before. She looked back over at her husband who was staring into space again but he felt her staring and turned to look at her, leaning in to kiss Alia's head, then Nicki's and then Jay's on the other side of him. Then he turned back to continue stroking Alia's tufty baby hair.


"I'm gon' call Kellie later." She said it unsurely, not knowing what he would say, and just kept watching Alia as she fed.


"Good. I want everything back. I want my family back. I want my life back." He sounded frustrated, understandably. He just wanted everything to go back to normal as did Nicki. She just nodded and pulled her top back up once Alia was done.


***


"Today? Are you absolutely positive you have no other openings at the weekend?" Nicki was getting upset on the phone with Kellie's receptionist. "I need to go with him, but I can't just drop everything and leave today." She rubbed her forehead with her free hand.


"I'm sorry Mrs Samuels but if you ring up last minute...you're only get to get the times left available." She didn't want to snap at the girl, she had seen her before, she was only young and she sounded genuinely sorry. "So shall I cancel that time or not ma'am?"


"No, no...that'll just have to do." she sighed after thanking her and putting the phone down." She turned around to see Safaree staring at her. "Babe, they only got times for this afternoon. Otherwise it's a three month wait." They were in the kitchen so she walked over and took the seat next to a troubled looking Safaree and placed a hand on his knee.


"S'ok, I'll go...I'll get a cab though." He knew there was no way Nicki would leave her babies with just any babysitter and she wasn't about to haul them on a four hour car trip all the way back to their hometown for a two hour session with Kellie.


"You sure?" She kept rubbing his knee and he put his hand over hers as she did.


"Yeah. I might just stay with my Mom when I get there though, I just do-" He tried to explain but Nicki already knew.


"I know, it's fine. I don't want you travelling in the dark. Not anymore." She said the last part under her breath.


***


It was now almost 2:00pm and Safaree's appointment was in four and a half hours. They were saying their goodbyes at the door as the cab driver put Safaree's overnight bag in the trunk for him and jumped back in the car.


"Be safe, kay?" He kissed her passionately, for the first time in over a month. She didn't want to let go but the driver was tapping his watch as he looked at them through his mirror. "Say night to the kids for me?" He whispered in her ear as he hugged her one last time. She just nodded, fearing that if she spoke she would start crying again. Watching him drive away was the worst feeling for her. The last time she did that, it changed their lives.


She decided to take Jay out for lunch seeing as they had absolutely no food in the house, that way she could do the grocery shopping too. After stocking the car up with a Alia's pram and baby bag she put both children in the car and set off to the mall, which conveniently had Jay's favourite eatery and a supermarket too. Once they arrived and parked she was relieved to see that Alia was fast asleep, so transferring her to her pram was easy because she slept like a log.


"Jay, baby why don't you go play in the play area?" She knew he wouldn't but she desperately didn't want his autism to stop him from having fun. He just looked at the play area longingly but shook his head no adamantly. She sighed and turned to check on Alia who was now wide awake. "Hey liddle ladybug! You just gon' have to wait 'til we get home for your lunch, kay?" Jay kneeled up on his chair wanting to look at Alia but was soon distracted as a young boy's balloon popped loudly on the table next to theirs. She whipped her head around to see his little face screwed up, close to tears he slid off his chair and climbed on to Nicki's lap while she just rocked him. "You wanna go home baby?" She felt him nod his head on her chest and took that as their cue to leave. Getting back to the car was like her worst nightmare, trying to push Alia's pram with her stomach, carry the two heavy grocery bags on one hip and a sleepy Jay on the other. Luckily a middle-aged man came to her rescue and took the groceries for her. He looked really familiar but she couldn't quite place where she had seen him and shook the thoughts out of her head when she remembered they had moved to a completely new area so how could she possibly know him. It bugged her the whole journey home.


***


At 7:30pm Alia was all fed and sound asleep in her crib whilst Nicki and Jay were sat watching Cars. Only Jay was asleep. She had planned this so that she could put him in his own bed to get him used to his new room. She carefully carried him up to his blue bedroom and tucked him in his little bed, making sure his night light was on as he always woke up at some point in the night. She just sat and admired him for a while before heading back downstairs, she wanted to tidy up a bit before Safaree got home in the morning, as she did so she heard a loud bang coming from the back of the house. She stood silent for a while, holding her breath. It was definitely coming from downstairs, and inside the house. She started to panic remembering that Safaree wasn't home. Who should she call? She doesn't know anyone here. Suddenly she was reminded of the phone number left thoughtfully on the fridge. "Drake!" .....


*Wow, that was actually quite long...I think :/ well hope you liked ^_^ And thanks soooooo much for all of the comments on the the sneak peek! :D *

Monday 9 July 2012

5. *Sneak Peek* Things Will Get Better

*Only a sneak peek but I'm posting the full chapter tomorrow...Mum was getting grouchy with me shutting myself in my room to write -__- haha anywaays hope you enjoy ^_^ *

Safaree was now stood outside of the bathroom door, hearing her sob her heart out like that was breaking him on the inside. He couldn't believe he'd made her feel that way, and hearing her small conversation with Jayson minutes ago had somehow kicked him back into the real world. He was having an internal argument about whether or not he should go in or not but before he could do anything he heard the shower die down. He guessed she wasn't washing her hair, so he quietly entered the bathroom with a million thoughts running through his head. What if he couldn't fix this? He could only try though. When he went in she still hadn't heard him and was wrapping herself in a pink towel, as she turned to face the sink he made her jump and she spun around quickly trying to hide her tears and puffy eyes. She carried on drying herself as she thought Safaree just wanted the bathroom.

"C-can't you just use the d-downstairs bathroom?" She stuttered and rolled her watery eyes when he didn't answer but instead she flinched feeling him wrap his arms tightly around her pulling her so close to him she felt like she couldn't breathe. She stayed rigid in his arms for a couple of seconds before completely collapsing into him and crying even harder. How could he have not noticed what he was doing to her? He never wanted to let go of her at this point but he had to loosen up for fear of suffocating her. He felt her shuddering as she cried, they never spoke apart from his reassuring, soothing words here and there. They stayed like that for a good five minutes before he noticed the goosebumps patterned across her arms, remembering she was still only in her towel. He gently pulled away from her and grabbed her hand leading her though to their room, carful not to wake Jay up. As Nicki trailed behind him she looked even smaller than usual just shuffling as close as she could behind him trying to hold her towel around her. She couldn't stop crying and kept sniffling as he pulled out some pyjamas for her and lay them on the bed.

"Here, put those on you're freezing." He whispered softly as she dropped her towel and quickly threw on the pyjamas. He grabbed one of his sweatshirts too and put it on her while she just stood crying, still struggling to stop. He hated seeing her like this. He moved around to his side of the bed and packed cushions and pillows there to act like a barrier so that Jay couldn't roll out of the bed, he then went back round to her side pulling her with him as he wrapped them under the covers. He couldn't believe how long she cried for, she cried so much she threw up luckily the trash can was near the bed. He just continued to hold her until her cries subdued into faint breathing, he looked down at her asleep, enveloped in his arms and vowed to himself that he would never again do anything to make her feel like he didn't love her, because she was his life....

*I'm not ever going to say that I need a certain amount of comments to continue because I get too carried away and would end up posting anyways but it does help motivate me when I see comments being left, so thank you guys!! Well thanks for all of the comments people left on the last chapter :O I was like amaaazed! XD Thank you!! Posting the rest tomorrow, hopefully I dream up the rest of it!! Ohh yeah and I don't know if any of you have ever cried so much you made yourself sick? But it's seriously the worst :(( Goodnight Barbz*

*NOTE*

Kay Barbz, I'm bout to post BUT, and that's a big ass but, I just wanted to let you all know that I LOVE Drake as an individual and he and Nic are cute together AS FRIENDS *Martha voice* and friends only! I support ONIKAFAREE all the way tho, nothing can beat their cuteness! ^____^
Well back to business, I am still writing chapter 5 for HIA and I am also still in the middle of writing the next chapter for FY too so...sit tight it won't be too long! ^_^
And those comments? WOW guys. I was shocked that I actually got that many!!! Almost cried :'') ...I didn't really but it seemed as though some hint of strong emotion needed to be inserted there! I was amazed though, so THANK YOU!! A lot of them had me in hysterics, like seriously, I was cryingg!!
Well thanks for reading and commenting ^_^ Muuah *kisses the Barbz*

Sunday 8 July 2012

4. The Move - Part Two

*Have a little inkling this might anger some ppl :((( But I PROMISE THIS WILL GO NOWHERE, you'll know what I mean after you've read it...if you read it :O haha. Enjoooy*

Jayson ran over to Safaree as fast as he could, he was as much a Daddy's boy as he was a Mommy's boy. Nicki smiled at how cute he looked, before noticing Safaree's face as he picked up his son.

"Well, thanks for waiting Drake...I think we're already to go. I only came in to take Jay to the bathroom before we leave." She looked between the two men, luckily Drake was paying Safaree's death stare no mind as he was cooing over Alia who was still resting snugly on Nicki's chest and shoulder.

"Great, well, we're ready when y'all are so give us a shout when you're set to go." He stayed in the same place as Nicki moved over to swap children with Safaree, she knew there was no use asking him to do anything because he would just stare blankly at her so she left it upon herself to do everything.
When Alia was safely nestled in Safaree's arms Nicki walked Jay to the downstairs bathroom hand in hand. While she was gone there was an awkward silence in the room which was made even more awkward by Drake trying to talk to Safaree.

"So what made you guys wanna, you know, get out and leave this place?" Safaree didn't even acknowledge him, instead he just walked over to the lounge-room window with Alia and stared out of it. Drake couldn't believe how rude this guy was being, what was such a friendly, beautiful woman like Nicki doing with him? He shook his head and decided to wait out the silence in the kitchen. It wasn't long until Nicki re-appeared with Jay skilfully balanced on her hip, carrying a baby bag with her free arm.

"Kay, we're all set to go. We did a house check too and everything is packed and ready so I guess we should make a move." Drake could tell she was stressed, not that she looked it although she did look a little drained however with two young children he wasn't surprised.

"Right, let's hit the road then!" He flashed Nicki and Jay a smile before walking towards the van and starting up the engine. Nicki had completely forgotten to ask him to wait until they were on the road first. The sound of the loud engines starting threw Jayson into a fit of screams as he planted his hands firmly over his ears and continued to scream and cry, pushing his face into the crook of her neck.

"Hey, it's ok baby. They'll be gone soon." She tightened her grip around him and kept talking to him trying to get him to settle down. When Jay was younger she and Safaree had always noticed his dislike of loud noises but never thought anything of it, I mean who does like loud noises really? But after being diagnosed with autism they realised the connection. As soon as Safaree heard his cries he immediately made his way over to Nicki motioning to take Jay and hand Alia to her. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, this was practically the first time he'd really acknowledged her in four weeks.

"Here let me take him?" He wasn't looking at her, he had his gaze fixed on his distressed son. Nicki did what he asked and gently held on to Alia as Jay scrambled to get a hold of Safaree. She just watched as he instantly calmed Jay and started walking out to the car.

***

The drive to their new house was long and tedious and not very pleasant with a tired four year old and a hungry 3 month old baby. Not to mention the fact that Nicki had to drive the whole way as Safaree refused to even be in the car at all, she managed to coax him in though. She knew it wasn't his fault and he wasn't purposely being like this but couldn't he see how much she was struggling? How tired she was? How much she needed him right now? She didn't want to get angry but she was really struggling to hold it in anymore.

Once they reached their new home Jay was exhausted and sleeping soundly in his car seat, Alia was heading the same way and Safaree was just looking straight ahead. Nicki made a move and hopped out of the car, she knew Jay would wake as soon as she moved him so she left him and let him sleep. Alia on the other hand was not going to wait one more minute to be fed so she concentrated on getting her inside and settled before going back to Jay. As for Safaree, she really couldn't be dealing with him right now, it was physically, mentally and emotionally draining.

"Ugghh I'm gon' be so damn busy!" She muttered to herself as she made her way through the front door. A voice came from behind her causing her to jump slightly.

"You need a hand?" He showed her his pearly smile once again as he made his way over to where she was stood.

"Drake, I think I'll be ok but thanks..." She paused thinking about how tired she was going to be doing the unpacking alone."...Actually, yeah that would be nice...thank you." She returned the smile as she turned to walk into the kitchen. She managed to unbutton her blouse and expose her left breast as she walked and cradled Alia with her free arm and held her closer as she fed her. She grabbed the baby pink blanket from the baby bag and draped it over her left shoulder to hide Alia. The removal men continued to unload all of the boxes as Drake offered to make Nicki a drink.

"So, what's with your husband. He's a little rude don't you think?" Nicki didn't really appreciate that comment.

"Excuse me?! You don't know the half of what he's been through! What we've been through" She suddenly looked down as she felt Alia squirming, her yelling had disturbed her meal. "Sorry baby." She carried on rocking and cooing before looking back at an embarrassed Drake. 

"I'm sorry. You're right, I don't know you guys and it wasn't my place to say anything." He turned around and proceeded with making her a hot drink, she couldn't believe it but now she felt bad.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that. I guess he does come off that way to outsiders..." She trailed off and focused on the fluffy pink blanket covering her and Alia. Apart from her own mother she had never really spoken to anyone about how she was feeling. Until now.

"He was in a car accident about four weeks ago..." She stopped mid-sentence trying to compose herself whilst Drake cringed at his insensitivity earlier. "He lost his friends who were also involved...and they hit a little boy too, Faree tried to save him, but...." She trailed off again feeling like the conversation was getting too heavy for someone she only just met.

"I'm really sorry to hear that." He walked back over to the table, which had just been placed by the removal men, and placed her drink on it before taking a seat opposite her. "That's why he doesn't talk?" He looked to the ceiling as he said it. Safaree had gone straight upstairs as soon as the got there.
Nicki didn't say anything she just nodded slowly before inhaling deeply.


***

Three hours later the removal men finished unloading the last of the boxes and headed off, Drake however stayed behind to help Nicki unpack the heavy items. It was nearing 7:00pm but he had nowhere important to be.

"Don't get me wrong I'm really thankful for you doing this but, don't you think you should be getting home, it's a long drive back?" They were stood in Alia's small pink bedroom, she was all bathed, fed and ready to sleep. Nicki put her down gently, turning the light off on the way out.

"Nope, I actually live here." At first she thought he was joking but when she turned to face him was dead serious.

"Oh!" She laughed as Drake followed behind her.

"So expect to be seeing a lot more of me!" At that moment Jay came running through with his pyjamas in his hands.

"Woah boy, stop with the running. You got wet feet silly!" She had just bathed him and sat him in the living room while she put Alia to bed. Picking him up she sat him on the side, whisking the towel from around him quickly throwing on his all-in-one pyjama suit over his big boy nighttime pants. "Done!" She went to pick him up again but he was watching Drake intently before screeching out. Turning to see what had set him off she saw Drake putting all of the pictures on the fridge, Nicki had left them out to do after and obvisouly Drake had brought it on himself to do it for her. "S'ok baby, Mommy will fix it later." Drake turned around  to see what she was talking about only to realise they were both looking at him.

"What? What did I do?" He was completely clueless as to what had upset the young boy. Nicki just giggled at Drake's sad face and she scooped Jay up and carried him over to the fridge, as she held him there he rearranged all of the pictures into two neat lines and clapped his hands together letting his Mom know that he was finished. Setting him down he bolted to the bottom of the stairs and started to make his way up, she knew he was going to Safaree but she didn't want him waking Alia, that was one grumpy little girl she didn't want to upset right now. She looked at a puzzled Drake and answered his unasked question as she walked away.

"He's autistic, and those pictures have to be a certain way." She said it like it was nothing as she swiftly picked Jay up. "Wait here, I'll just go take him to Faree. I don't want him to wake my liddle ladybug." Drake laughed at her making her voice go all cute at the end of her sentence, but he was curious so after she headed upstairs he quietly followed behind her. Nicki knew that they would end up having Jay in their room anyway because it was somewhere new and strange so she decided to tuck him in with Safaree now instead of later. Drake stood and watched in the doorway as Nicki made a little space for Jay in between the two pillows. She kissed Jay on his forehead and cheek before turning to Safaree, he was still awake and Drake could see his face in the mirror opposite the bed. She brushed her hand over his head a few times before crouching down to the point where Drake could no longer see her, he guessed she was kissing him. She looked at them both one last time before turning off the lamp and heading out. She caught a glimpse of Drake and started walking  faster shutting the door quietly behind her.

"What the hell?! I said wait downstairs!" She crossed her arms angrily over her chest.

"Sorry...I need the bathroom." He was quite proud of his excuse.

"Well, genius, there's one downstairs remember?" She looked at him waiting for an answer.

"Oh..yeah, sorry I forgot." He blushed and started to fumble around with his pockets.

"Whatever, let's go back downstairs. I think you should be going anyway, I have lots to do in the morning." they both made their way back downstairs and Drake actually did need the bathroom so whilst he dealt with that Nicki finished off cleaning all the dinner plates up.

"Look, I'm really grateful for everything you've done today! I just wish you'd take the money, please?" This was the third time she was offering it to him and this was the third time he was refusing.

"It's fine! I was doing it...as a friend, let's just say that, kay?" He raised his eyebrow before jumping in the taxi, the other removal men had taken the truck home hours ago. She shook her head and closed the door after watching the car drive off. Then everything went back to normal as the house fell silent, she laughed when she saw he had stuck his number on the fridge with all of Jay's pictures. After turning everything off and locking the doors she made her way back upstairs and into their bathroom which was joined on to her room. When she heard a little voice coming from the bed.

"Mommy?" It was a little louder than a whisper, so she guessed he may have woken Safaree too.

"What's up liddle man?" She crawled over to him and lay her head next to his.

"Is Daddy going to get fixed?" That question hit her hard. She hadn't anticipated him noticing that there was something wrong with Safaree.

"Yeah...Daddy's just not feeling well at the moment, but he will get better soon. You'll see." She stroked his cheek as his eyes started getting heavier, but he was fighting sleep so she continued talking. "And Daddy will always love you now matter what, just like I will." He looked at her with sleepy eyes.

"And Mommy? Daddy loves Mommy too?" He yawned while he waited for an answer. But Nicki honestly couldn't answer that one, she felt like he couldn't stand her, the way he avoided looking at her, wouldn't speak to her. He wouldn't even touch her. She didn't answer Jay, she could tell he was drifting off to sleep.

"Go to sleep baby, we have a big day tomorrow." Her voice was cracking as she tried to hold the tears back she kissed him on the forehead as he started snoring very lightly. She let go as she made her way to the bathroom, the tears were falling freely now and her soft cries could be heard as she shut the door behind her.

Slowly turning over he looked towards the bathroom door as her cries became more muffled through the sound of the shower. He had heard everything.........

*Pow! There you have it! ^______^ chapter four guys!! That took a long time...annnd it's rully cold in my room so I can't feel my hands :-((( Thanks for all of your comments!! I LOVE reading them :D Some of them make me laugh too XD But anyways I am knackered so I am leaving -__- enjoy kids!! Sorry for any typos, and also I apologise if I post it twice it's just I find it easier to post it, read it and THEN edit it :/  Well toodleooo. Muuuah*


Saturday 7 July 2012

3. The Move - Part One

Busy was an understatement for what was going on downstairs. There was removal men everywhere gathering boxes and moving furniture to the vans outside, whilst Safaree was stood planted to the kitchen floor holding Alia who was now screaming rather than crying. The same guy that had woken her up earlier made his way over to Safaree with a worried look on his face.

"Sir? Is everything ok?" He had noticed the blank expression on his face, which had been there almost permanently since the accident. Nicki quickly darted over before he started asking him more questions, she knew what would happen.

"Faree? Please just give her to me?" Her voice was shaking slightly as she held her arms out to grab her unconsolable baby from him. Safaree just kept his eyes on the removal guy as he kept tight hold of Alia.

"I'm not going to hurt her." This made Nicki's heart sink. She never wanted to make him feel like she didn't trust him but she desperately wanted her baby to stop crying. She looked at the removal guy and started to talk.

"Please, can you just give us a moment alone?" He nodded his head and looked at Safaree again before heading back outside whilst the other men were all unaware and continued moving the boxes out.

"Look, baby, I have no idea what you are going through right now but I'm trying! I really am...so please just, talk to me?" She said over Alia's cries as she rubbed his back. He didn't say anything and gently handed her to Nicki, quickly disappearing back upstairs. Alia kept on crying as Nicki tried to soothe her and rock her gently but to no avail. Eventually her cries subdued and were now small whimpers as her eyes were getting heavier. She decided to just keep hold of her until she was properly asleep.

As soon as the men had finished, the same guy from earlier made his way over to Nicki who was still trying to rock Alia to sleep.

"Okay ma'am looks like we're all done here so we're about to head off, will you and your family be following behind?"

"No sir, I have another stop to make before we head off...unless y'all want to wait here whilst I go and do what needs to be done? It should only take twenty minutes at the most." She was still looking at Alia when she said it, not in a rude way she just wanted to make sure she was properly asleep before strapping her into her baby seat.

"Sure thing...by the way I'm Drake." He held his hand out for her to shake with her free hand as the other one was still securely wrapped around the baby.

"Oh, well thank you Drake!" She looked around at the empty room "You guys did a great job." She led them both into the kitchen where the baby seat was sat on the side and gently placed a sleeping Alia into it and fastened her in before turning back to Drake. "This sounds a little strange but I'd prefer if you didn't speak to my husband while I'm not here, maybe y'all could just stay outside?" She looked down, slightly embarrassed but she really didn't want for Safaree to kick off like he had last week.

"Of course. We'll just be waiting for you when you get back." He smiled. "Do you need any help carrying anything out to your car?" She wanted to say no because he had been working all morning but she had a fair few bags to carry as well as Alia.

"Um, yes..those bags down there." She pointed to the items lined against the wall. "Thank you."
Without hesitating he gathered all of her stuff and loaded it all into her car as she double and triple checked that the baby seat was securely fastened backwards into the back seat of the vehicle. Heading on to the road she began the short drive to her parents house to pick up Jayson.

***

The goodbyes to her parents and brother wasn't as tearful as she had anticipated but she knew it would hit her later on when she had time to think.

"Jay, baby, I want you to be a brave boy for Mommy when we get home 'kay? She was looking at him through her rearview mirror. He just looked back and tilted his head as if he was asking a question, something he did regularly to avoid talking. "There are some big trucks at our house, but I promise they won't make any noise whilst you're there." She kept flicking between looking at him in the mirror and the road ahead until she pulled up to the house and parked the car in the driveway. Walking to the front door was a fair task as she had Alia balanced upright on her chest with her head resting on her shoulder and the job of trying not to trip over Jayson who was holding on to her hand as if his life depended on it shuffling as close as he could behind his Mother.

Flashback (A week earlier)


The couple continued to hold hands as Nicki showed them around the house. They had bought the property but hadn't yet looked around, it was their third house and Nicki gathered that money was not an issue hence buying her house without even viewing it first.


"And that leads us back to the kitchen." She put her hands together as she finished the little tour.


"Thanks for doing this Mrs Samuels...we heard about what happened and know this must be such a difficult time for you." The gentleman gently placed a hand on her shoulder whilst his wife looked at her sympathetically. Nicki just bowed her head before looking up and forcing a smile for them. Before she had the chance to respond she turned to see Safaree stood at the foot or the stairs with his hands balled up into fists and his grey t-shirt was drenched with sweat.


"Faree...this is Mr and Mrs Portman...they're the couple who bought our house." She looked between them as she tried to find something else to say. "This is my husband Safaree." The couple looked back and smiled at him but without warning he started yelling as he walked over to them.


"Get out! Get out! Both of you, and stay away from her! If I see you put yo' damn hands on her again-" Nicki manged to get between him and the couple before yelling over the top of him.


"Faree? SAFAREE!? It's fine, they weren't doing anything...they're just here to see the house!" She kept on rubbing her hands up and down his toned and heaving chest as she tried to calm him. It worked and he backed off a little shaking his head in disbelief at what he had just done.


"I'm...I'm so sorry I didn't...." He trailed off as he slumped back upstairs, still breathing heavily. Nicki was too embarrassed to turn around especially now as the tears rolled down her face which would be super obvious because she was wearing makeup. She didn't have to say anything though as Mrs Portman kindly put her arm around Nicki and pulled her into a hug.


"We'll leave now, you hang in there..you hear me?" She pulled away to see Nicki's distraught face. "We'll be back to pick up the keys on wednesday, alright?" Nicki just nodded as she swiped at her tears to try and stop them from falling.


After they had gone she made her way upstairs to find Safaree curled up on their bed. He was still and silent as she crawled on to the sheets and got close to him. She remembered what his therapist, Kellie, had said about him feeling guilty for not having being able to save the young boy. She had also told her that he'll show this in his behaviour which was why he did what he just did downstairs. He wanted to protect his family and make sure no harm came to them to make up for not doing the same for the boy, explaining why he overreacted about how Mr Portman was touching her. She carefully grabbed his arm and pulled it around her as she lay her head on his chest listening to the muffled sound of his rapid heartbeat.


Jay Imma need you to let go for just a minute baby?" She looked down at his worried face. "Mommy needs to get her keys and open the door." He looked down and shook his head as he gripped her hand even tighter.

"Here let me get that for you." Drake put his hands out to take hold of Alia, but Nicki pulled away hesitantly.

"Umm...No I got her it's fine." She didn't know if Safaree was still upstairs and didn't want him to freak out if some stranger had hold of Alia, instead she tried to fumble around for her keys with the hand that had hold of Jay's. Drake just watched her struggling before offering again.

"Well, let me open the door for you then?" Nicki dropped her hand back down to her side in submission as he rummaged through her bag to find the house keys, she didn't even know why she locked it in the first place. Drake inserted the key and opened the house up for her and let her enter before following. It was a new environment for Jay so Nicki wasn't surprised when he kept hold of her hand and refused to look or respond to Drake, who was trying to talk to him.

"Hey little man! You ready to go see your new house?" He stood upright when Jay didn't reply and tried to hide behind Nicki's legs.

"Baby don't be rude..." She sighed and looked at Drake. "I'm sorry he's just not used to strangers. He's really shy." She started bouncing Alia slightly when she felt her moving and start to fuss with her small head still resting on her shoulder. She whipped her head around quickly when Jay pulled out of her grasp and ran over to the bottom of the stairs.

"Daddy!"

.....

*Hahahahaaa I love doing that XD Well there you have it...chapter three *sighs* I promise the next chapter, which you might even get tonight, will have more interesting-ness going on...I think :/ Well hope it was ok for you all and THANK YOU for all of the comments! ^_^ Muuah*

Thursday 5 July 2012

2. Preparing For A New Start

*So here is the second chapter bugs! ^_^ Hope you enjoy...and just to let you know I will do flashbacks in italics but if it helps I will also write flashback first...so really there was no point in me saying any of that O.o...whatevs, anyway here it is! Muuah*

The warm sun shining through the bedroom bay windows woke Nicki the next day. She looked over at the alarm clock realising that it was almost 9:30am, which was strange because usually Alia would start crying and wake her at around 8:00am wanting to be fed. With a big stretch she moved out of the bed to find Alia gone from her moses basket, in a panic she spun around to wake Safaree but he wasn't in bed. He was stood silently looking out of the window swaying gently, indicating that he was cradling Alia.

"Baby, what are you doing? You must be freezing." She grabbed a sweatshirt for him on the way over, he was in nothing but a pair of jogging pants. Once again she was greeted with silence.

"Faree, please put this on?" she held her hand out to give him the shirt but he ignored her and continued  cradling and rocking Alia, who was surprisingly sound asleep in her father's arms. She always looked twice as small in his arms than Nicki's, although she was extremely small for a three month old as she was born almost eight weeks prematurely. Nicki let her arm drop to her side and started rubbing his arm whilst admiring the two of them.

"Here, I'll take her and get her fed. Why don't you go take a shower? We have start getting ready to leave soon." She awaited a response but didn't get one, she knew it wasn't his fault and he wasn't doing this to hurt her but it was killing her not being able to have him talk to her, comfort her or help her. But right now he needed her more. Safaree stopped moving and gently handed Alia, who had now woken up, to Nicki without a word and resumed his position just staring out of the window. She had no idea what to do anymore, what if he stayed this way? Their marriage surely wouldn't last, Nicki was really struggling with Jayson alone more so because she had a baby to take care of at the same time and Safaree to worry about, that's why she was so worried about moving to LA. No Mama Carol to come and save the day. She tried to shake the thoughts out of her head and went downstairs, luckily the couches were still set in their places in the lounge room so Nicki made herself comfortable on one of them whilst she fed Alia.

Flashback


"Stop being such a fuckin' ass and just get us home man" Safaree was getting heated with what was going on.


"Ahh chill! he knows what he's doin' boy!" His friend Michael laughed and waved his drink around spilling it everywhere. They were all drunk, with the exception of Jackson, who was driving, and Safaree they had only had a few drinks. Jackson decided it would be funny to arse around on the road seeing as nobody was around, but the excitement in the car was getting to the point where it was heavily distracting especially when there was six of them crammed into the vehicle.


"Relaaax coon, ain't nothin' gon' happen!" They all cackled and continued with their loud antics and turned the volume up when a good tune came on.


Nicki was awoken by a man in overalls stood in front of her, she must have dozed off while she was feeding Alia. In a panic she quickly grabbed a blanket off of the couch and covered her breast and Alia hoping that he hadn't seen, although by his burning red cheeks she guessed he had.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I must have nodded off." She stood up gently trying not to disturb her baby's breakfast.

"That's quite alright ma'am, I'm sorry if I startled you!" He smiled genuinely before talking again. "We're here to collect all of the boxes and move them to the new address, so could I please speak to a..." He paused a flipped through his clipboard "...Mr Safaree Samuels?" Nicki sighed and looked the man in the eyes.

"...He isn't home right now...but could I sign? I'm his wife." She kept rocking Alia whilst keeping her gaze fixed on him. He looked hesitant but noticed all her in all of the family photos sat on one of the boxes and went to hand her the clipboard only to realise she kind of had her hands full.

"Sorry,..I'll just let you finish..um...finish up what you're doin' here." He awkwardly made his way back out the the removal vans and started opening them up before telling the other men waiting outside to start moving the boxes out.
 Meanwhile Nicki headed back upstairs to wipe Alia's face and get her dressed, gently placing her back in her moses basket while she too showered and got dressed. Safaree was still staring out of the window.

Flashback 


The car was spinning and screeching all over the road, completely out of control at this point. None of them men could do anything, Safaree braced himself in horror as they careered sideways mounting the sidewalk and took out some garden fencing before hearing a loud thump and speeding straight into a building wall. When he opened his eyes he could only hear the sound of his own rapid breathing and the ticking sounds that the totalled car was making. There was blood all over his white shirt and his jeans. the windscreen was well and truly smashed up. His eyes travelled to each one of his friends, all were motionless and bloodstained he reached out and checked all of their pulses. Nothing. He felt sick as he tried to break his way out of the wreckage, his heart was pounding so fast and he felt like he couldn't breathe. An elderly man jogged over to the scene.


"Sir? Are you ok sir?" Safaree didn't answer. His eyes were now glued to the tiny body of a young boy laying lifelessly at the foot of the building wall, slightly underneath the car and surrounded by a few bricks. He suddenly had the urge to throw up and did just that as another woman draped a jacket around his shoulders.


"The ambulance is on it's way, just breathe ok? Just focus on breathing." She had noticed Safaree's rapid breathing, but he couldn't just stand and wait for an ambulance. There was a young boy, somebody's son dying or possibly dead laying right in front of them. He shrugged the jacket of and carried it over to the boy placing it under his head, he had done first aid training and began the procedure on the child. It was extremely unpleasant considering the amount of blood on the boy's face and in his mouth. He just continued to give chest compressions and give mouth to mouth until he was pulled off by a team of paramedics.


Coming out of the bathroom Nicki noticed the absence of both Safaree and Alia and started to panic again. She knew Safaree would never intentionally hurt her or either of their children for that matter but she didn't know what mind state he was in. She hurriedly threw on some jeans and pink jumper before running down the stairs to the busy atmosphere...

*Okaaay, Sorry kids but that's all I can do for tonight I have work in the morning -___- BUUUT I will be updating tomorrow and I will also update Forever Young too! :) Well hope you enjoyed! And thank you all so, so, so much for your comments! Muuah*



Wednesday 4 July 2012

1. Trying To Move Forward

"It's gonna be ok y'know Faree?" She kept brushing her hand over his head as he lay quietly in their bed. The more she said that to him she wondered whether she was trying to convince herself or him more. He didn't answer, but that wasn't unusual. She felt so helpless as he kept his gaze fixed on the wall in front of him, breathing steadily. Nicki sighed and slowly got up from the bed, looking back at him once more before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. She so desperately wanted to break down and cry but she had to be the strong one this time, all the times he was strong for her now it was her turn.

"How is he?" Mama Carol asked with a pitiful look on her face. The small baby in her arms was getting restless and fussy as she tried to hand her to her mother. Nicki only had to look at her mother for her to know that there had been no change in the way Safaree was behaving. "I think somebody's hungry!" She smiled a little as she handed the three month old tot to Nicki.

"Aw baby, sorry..Momma's been a little busy." She knew all too well that her baby daughter Alia couldn't understand a word she was saying but she still talked to her anyway. Mama Carol smiled proudly.

"You're a great mother, you know that don't you Onika?" She placed a hand softly on Nicki's arm.
Nicki just looked at her before answering.

"Thanks Mom, I just wish I could be a better wife right now." She started to tear up which was something she promised she would try never to do in front of her children. She remembers how helpless she used feel whenever she and her brother would find her mother crying.

"Don't even say it Onika! You know he loves you with all of his heart, he just needs time baby." Her mother always knew what to say and when to say it, it's like she had some other sense that nobody else had and she loved that about her.

"I know, I know...I'm just being silly." She looked down at Alia who was fussing more than ever now and verging on crying.

"Look I better feed her before she wakes the whole neighbourhood, you think you'll be ok looking after Jayson for one more night...I mean Cai is gonna be home right? He can help you? She looked hopefully at her mother waiting for an answer.

"Nika, baby, of course I will. What time are the removal vans getting here tomorrow morning?"

"Umm, hopefully they gonna be here by nine so once all or stuff is packed up I can drop by a get him." Mama Carol nodded, she knew she was the only person Nicki trusted her with her son Jayson. He was four years old and was diagnosed with autism when he was three, Nicki had always been weird about letting people look after him but seemed to have gotten worse after he was diagnosed.

"Thanks Mommy." She smiled gratefully, and her Mother returned the gesture.

"Y'know, you have to stop being so shy about feeding your own child in front of people! It's nothing to be ashamed about." Mama Carol laughed, she knew Nicki was waiting for to leave before she breast-fed Alia. Nicki blushed and looked away.

"Mom, really?" She shook her head before changing the subject. "Tell Jay that I love him before he goes to sleep, please?"

"I will, I will!" Mama Carol dismissed what Nicki was about to say because it was the same every time, and she knew the drill by now. She grabbed her coat and bag before kissing Nicki and Alia on their foreheads and heading towards the front door, which was almost blocked off by all of the packed boxes lining the hallway. "Oh and Nika? Everything is  going to be ok, I promise." She gave one last smile before leaving. The house fell silent, all except for Alia's hungry grunts and whimpers.

"Okay liddo one, Imma feed you now! Just like Momma, impatient when it comes to food." She continued talking to the frustrated baby as she made her way up the stairs. Since everything was packed in to boxes Alia was sleeping in Nicki and Safaree's room in a temporary moses basket by Nicki's bed-side. She was struggling, only Mama Carol recognised though because of the front she kept putting up but Safaree was still the same as he was four weeks ago, Jayson was getting distressed and upset with all the changes going on with moving house and Alia...well she seemed to be the only one not affected by anything right now. Except her growing hunger at this very moment. Nicki carefully climbed on to the bed next to Safaree, who hadn't moved since she left the room. She was trying to hurry now because Alia was getting grumpy, another trait that showed her resemblance to her mother. She swiftly opened her robe and held the baby even closer to her breast allowing her to greedily latch on to her nipple.

"Wow, you where hungry huh Ladybug?" She rocked her gently as she slipped back in to her thoughts and before she knew it Alia was done with food and fast asleep. She felt tired herself and knew she had a huge day tomorrow. Carefully placing Alia in her moses basket Nicki ran her thumb over her baby's cheek and admired her for a while. She had a lot of hair and really dark eyes, her skin was a similar colour to her own almost like a rich honey brown. She was almost the exact opposite to Jayson, he insisted on having his hair as short as Safaree's and being as stubborn as Nicki he always got it cut the way he wanted. He had dark eyes too but his skin resembled a mixture of Safaree's and Nicki's. She suddenly felt sad thinking about him again, she always hated leaving him with other people but she knew he loved staying with his Grandma and Grandad, not to mention Cai. She hung her robe on the bedpost and turned of the bed-side lamp as she slid into bed next to Safaree, he was asleep now and she scooted closer and closer to him desperate to feel him hold her but she knew he wouldn't. Instead she stayed where she was, positioned right behind his back and soon joined Alia and her husband in the land of sleep.

*Okkaaay not sure how everyone is gonna like this but yeaaah there ya go! XD Hopefully you do, and yes I am going to have flashbacks that will explain what happened to Safaree :'''( Poor guy....but anyway I appreciate the comments I received on my introductory post! So thank you!! Well...hope you enjoy!*